And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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