How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize