Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
