I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
