So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
