You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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