I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
