What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
