I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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