i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
