I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
