I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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