My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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