so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
