I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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