so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
