Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
