and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize