The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
