covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
