I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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