Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
