Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Randomize
