Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
