I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize