You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
