PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
