Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
