1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
