I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
bring money and cleavage
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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