tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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