So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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