Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
