is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
