Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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