At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
