I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
