It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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