I can text with my tongue
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
