If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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