So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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