He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
