you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
