Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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