Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
