I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
