No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize