i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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