So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
