My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize