I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
