I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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