You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize