its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
