hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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