That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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