what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
