Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
