i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
