I wannas sexs uuuuu
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
