i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
