Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
