zippers are such a cool invention
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
