yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
not ubering you a puppy
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
