How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
