U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
