are you still at the devil's house?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
