your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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