If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
