He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
