How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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