he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i drank out of a bidet.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
