Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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