Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
