my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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