spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
