i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
