Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
