Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize