hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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