Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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