bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
